Meditation Retreat At Wat Umong

Wat Umong is one of my favorite temples in Chiang Mai. It's a 700 year old Buddhist temple nestled in the woods against the mountains of Doi Suthep. The entire campus consists of 15 acres of beautiful secluded forest. The wat is famous for its ancient underground tunnels, displaying a variety of Buddhist shrines, where in some parts you have to duck down below the low hanging ceilings to see. 

These tunnels were supposedly built by an ancient Lana King, and painted with bush scenes so they could keep a famous but mentally deranged monk within the grounds of the monastery, as he had a habit of wandering off into the woods for days on end. 

You can feed the ducks, turtles, and the eerily large catfish in a nearby pond. The whole setting is very tranquil and pleasant to walk through. Many other meditation centers in town are flooded with tourists, and don't occupy anything comparable to the spacious grounds Wat Umong sits on.

I decided this would be where I'd experience my first meditation retreat.

Upon arrival, I met with the head monk and discussed the logistics of my four day stay. The accommodations included a modest room with a mat and pillow, plain white clothing, and two square meals a day - you aren't allowed to eat past lunch, which was initially very unsettling!

I was also given a schedule:. 

5am -  Wake up
6-7am -  Mediation Practice
7-7:20am -  Sweep the temple grounds
7:30-8am -  Breakfast
9-11am -  Mediation Instruction/Practice
11-12pm -  Lunch Time
12-2pm -  Break Time
2-3:30pm -  Meditation Practice
4-5pm -  Cleaning
5-7pm -  Break Time
7-8pm -  Meditation Instruction/Practice
9:30pm -  Bedtime

The temple is littered with roosters, hens, and temple dogs - usually strays abandoned by locals for the temple to take care of. Each morning, a very large gong in the middle of the main temple area would sound promptly at 4am! The echoes permeated throughout the entire temple grounds, and would wake me up a solid hour before I needed to be. The dogs also seemed to despise this part of the day, as they would all howl loudly alongside the resonance of the gong, providing a natural alarm clock.  

The roosters begin their morning calls around 3:45-4am as well. Around 4:30am the senior monks gather and begin their morning chanting, which can also easily be heard. 

The fact that they set the meditation schedule an hour later than all this early morning commotion was simply torture, at least it was that first day. I tried desperately to fall back asleep to gain that much desired extra hour, but to no avail. That first night, standing in my room peering out the window into the darkness trying to see where all the noises were coming from, my alarm suddenly sounds at 5am, and I frustratedly and very emphatically shut it off. After that night, I decided to not even set it again, as it really didn't serve any purpose. 

In conjunction with the all the noise, the sleeping situation was rough, which is of course intentional. 

Each night I think I averaged 3-4 hours of sleep. 

Fully awake now, I headed to the meditation hall to begin the first instruction/practice of the day. Here I met our English speaking meditation teacher, Hans. 

Hans is Thai (but obviously his real name isn't Hans, he just has an affinity for Germans - so it was self imposed), but speaks decent English and has a good sense of humor - he's also an avid Backstreet Boys fan. There were about 10 other students in the class from all over the world. It was an incredibly diverse group too, with people from Argentina, Chile, England, Malaysia, Philippines, Japan, America (me), and Thailand. Conversation was limited, but we all still chatted a bit.

The beginning lessons focused on mindfulness. Mindfulness is to help develop the level of concentration needed for deeper levels of meditation. He taught us how to do basic walking meditation, and how to simply focus the mind on the sensations on the bottoms of your feet while slowly walking around the room.

I couldn't help thinking if an outsider was looking in this room right now how we would all look like patients in an insane asylum. Grown adults aimlessly walking around with our eyes closed, all dressed in standard issued white uniform.  

I occasionally looked up and smiled at the atmosphere.

He instructed us to recognize thoughts that arise while walking, and to mindfully realease them and redirect the attention back to the feet. In theory, this mental process is the simple practice of mindfulness. The sitting practice was much of the same. The walking practice is to subtlety begin calming the mind, in order to enter the sitting meditation with a calmer state than if you hadn't. The concept to objectively and compassionately observe arising thoughts, good or bad, and letting them go, then redirecting your focus to the main object of focus (your breath) was the basic lesson. The breath is always present and available, so mindfulness teachings begin people with this reliable focal point. 

Sounds pretty simple, right?  

The idea is to build and train the mind to be able to do this conscious process enough to the point where your mind limits incessant thinking (the monkey mind), and allowing your calmed mind to enter a higher level of concentration - eventually tapping into higher states of consciousness and insight.

There are no gods in Buddhism. Buddha himself was just a man who reached higher enlightenment and shared his way of doing so. Apparently he demanded not to be worshiped as some deity at all - I wonder what he would think of all this today, since he is one of the most recognized and worshiped images in present day. Buddhism to me doesn't seem much of a religion at all, but an instruction manual to help you reach your own higher understanding of reality. A path only realized through the practice of Vipassana meditation, and not through worshiping of any God figure. The ideas presented in Buddhism are for the individual to practice and to realize their own path of spiritual awakening. These facts alone have made Buddhism appealing and more beautiful to me than other religions predicated on fear and imposition. Not that Bhuddism isn't dogmatic in its own right today, but the basic essence of it seems pretty simple and not fear based.

Bhudda found a way to find his true self, and his connection to the universe and all things. He just simply shared his insight and how to attain enlightenment with others.

Hans said while sitting or walking to focus the undivided attention on either the nose where the breath enters and exits, or the stomach which rises and falls accordingly. I wouldn't technically call myself a beginner, and had practiced this method for over a year before moving to Thailand. During that time I had practiced rotating between the two, visualizing the entire course of the breath from nose to stomach. 

I personally use a simple visualization method I call the "Wave" that I came to while meditating on a beach in Costa Rica. With my eyes closed I would synchronize my breathing with the flow of the waves coming in and out of the shore. Breathing in as the water recedes back into the sea, and breathing out as the wave crashes onto the shoreline. I use this often, and always visualize that particular spot on that beach in Montezuma, Costa Rica. The monk said to breath normally, and to actually not try and regulate the breath, or sync it with anything like a wave - however this has proven effective for me. I doubt Buddha would've argued with anything that worked for that individual.

I usually meditate alone somewhere in nature, so sitting in a room with a monk and 10 others was hard on my concentration. Although after a few sessions I was able to become more deeply focused.

The first day was certainly the hardest. The sleep deprivation and mild starvation (a mild exaggeration) made for a very long tiring day.

The following day was a little easier since I could better focus. I also opted to start using a chair rather than the prototypical lotus pose. This helped my concentration since I was stiff and uncomfortable from another sleepless night filled with gong banging, monk chanting, dog howling and rooster crowing!

There was another guy, Martin, who'd been there a few days prior, and suggested a group of us venture back deep into the woods and meditate by this little river. The property he brought us to was not actually Wat Umong, but the ruins of an older temple destroyed by Burmese soldiers centuries before. I had been to Wat Umong many times, but never knew this was here! 

It was really fascinating to see the brick outlines of these old ruins, and the energy back there was surreal - the hair on your arms stood straight up! We forged through the old temple grounds and eventually found the river flowing through a ravine. We sat there for about 20min before the mosquitoes worsened, so we had to leave. I made a strong mental note on how to find it in the future.

Later that evening for our last meditation instruction, I had an extremely beneficial Q & A with Hans. I was literally the only person to ask questions, so I took advantage - later finding out from others I asked questions that were pertinent to them as well. His matter of fact way of explaining the simplicity of things was helpful, although condescending at times, but constructive nonetheless. We then all sat together under the huge Buddha shrine, lit only by a single candle, creating an eerie vibe as the light flickered off the shadows of the Buddha and Hans' face. We did some light monk chanting, in Thai which none of us understood, and then retired to our rooms.

That night was another difficult night - I just couldn't seem to sleep well there, even when I was thoroughly exhausted!

Gonggggggggggggggg.......Its 4am already??

The previous night I had asked Hans if I could join him during his alms collection in the morning. I didn't really get a confirmation on this, so I completely forgot in the midst of my sleep deprived mind that morning. About 15min into our meditation, I heard some footsteps approaching the hall. I quickly remembered my request, and hoped it was Hans coming to retrieve me. Then suddenly I felt a soft tapping on my head. I opened my eyes and Hans was standing over me, gesturing towards the exit. "I knew it was you!", I thought. So we both silently headed out the back, unbeknownst to the others, and I got to join him for his morning alms collection. 

This was a trip! 

Each day as I drive to work I see the monks walking barefoot along the roads with their alms baskets accepting food, and laypeople on their knees receiving their blessings from them. 

Hans told me to stay behind him and never walk alongside or in front of him for customary reasons. A few people stopped and had something to offer, so I curiously watched as they received their blessing from him - this was definitely a first, and something pretty interesting for a westerner to take part in.

After the morning alms collection, I connected with Martin, and a French guy Bastion. We were invited to Hans' home nearby for some tea and to chat about monk life - we actually ended up doing some light cleaning after our chat, which might had been the intention all along.

Its funny how subservient I felt to this monk, considering I'm not a Buddhist. But there is some kind of energy and level of respect I felt for him that made me happy to oblige. Normally I wouldn't clean another mans dishes, but we did willingly and without reservation. So maybe I was just playing my role as a student in this place, but I was happy to do so. He did share his coffee and food with us. I think Hans really took to us, and me in particular, mainly because he knew I taught English and he wanted to practice his skills. He is a really nice guy.

That day, Martin took off to continue his holiday in Thailand. A few new people arrived and so I felt compelled to show them the cool ruins Martin had showed us the previous day - plus this gave us something to do during our break. We all went and meditated for about an hour by the river, this time the mosquitoes were a little less relentless.

I remembered my camera too, and decided to take a group shot!

That evening I experienced the most intense meditation since I arrived, and maybe since I'd been in Thailand - and I've been meditating at least every other day up to this point.

We sat in the dark under the same candle light that reflected off the Buddha's face so ominously the night before. I used a chair again this time, and went off deep into myself, and literally meditated longer than the session was intended. I awoke to find I was alone and the candle was out. I was so deep in meditation I didn't even realize everyone had gotten up around me and had left!  I was so amazed, but possibly more so at the level of depth I was able to achieve this time.   

I wont go in to the details, but I'll just say I came out of it with tears down my face - it was emotionally intense! 

I walked very slowly back to my room, reflecting on what I had just experienced.

I felt I had reached a milestone in my practice, and found it hard to even write about. I wanted to express the depth of the experience, but found myself writing the same stuff I generally do after long meditations.  It was hard to convey this experience in words. 

It's kind of like learning something new in school. You memorize some new material, apply the knowledge for the test, but sometimes never really thinking in-depth about what the subject actually means - you just want to pass the test. You can regurgitate verbatim what you read, but maybe not realizing your lack of understanding of the deeper concepts. Then maybe years later, you're reintroduced to that same material, seeing the info in a much different perspective and gaining a new appreciation for it. 

I can talk to people about meditation and how to do it. I have read a lot and practiced a lot. However, after this session, the material I was writing, which mirrored what I had previously written, began to take on a different meaning, but with much deeper clarity.  

Not that there is much right or wrong to meditation in my opinion, but I found a new understanding as to what I was actually doing - it was my "ah ha" moment with this whole thing.

That night, I hoped for a better nights rest, but only to find a lovely colony of ants meandering along the edge of my bed. I didn't want to turn the lights out in fear of becoming a superhighway for these busy little insects. But my mind was less concerned as I was feeling a nice high in that moment. So I sat and watched them for a bit until I felt they wouldn't deviate from their already established path just north of my pillow.

I certainly fell asleep a little easier that night...but 4am always comes so quickly.

Apart form the ants and the standard loud noises, I was able to manage some sleep - maybe 4 hours. 

It was pouring the next morning, and I hoped Hans wouldn't come ask me to do another alms walk with him. Although during meditation he did tap my head again, and I followed him to the back door same as before. Only this time he told me to hold out my hand, and he gave me some meditation beads as a gift. He said he would be leaving and wanted to say goodbye since he knew I was also leaving shortly as well. By this point he knew I lived in town, so we exchanged numbers and agreed to grab lunch sometime. I gave him the traditional monk wai (hands together bow) and promised to give him a ring soon. He even requested I join him and a few others to go on a trip down south to another mountain temple just north of Bangkok in a town called Sokhothai. He may become an abbot (head monk) there, and wanted to show this place off. 

I happily accepted the offer.

I can't say enough about my experience at Wat Umong. I mean, there have been many "firsts" since arriving in SE Asia, but formally meditating and lightly adopting Buddhist practices for a few days was an amazing and enlightening experience.

I will say though the way of the monk, and traditional Buddhists for that matter, isn't really the life for me. There certainly exists some parity among practitioners, as there is in all religions, but the essence of the meditation concepts are quite nice and beneficial to all. I gained a new appreciation for this belief system. 

Some of the monks can be pretty hardcore too!

Hans told me about a few head monks at the temple who periodically venture off into the mountains for weeks with no food or sleep, meditating for days on end! That's Insane - like how is that even physically possible? 

These guys truly live this practice with extreme intensity and devotion that is astounding to me.

I was really exposed to a way of life so far different from my own. I greatly respect level of commitment necessary to live like this. Having only had a few moments in my practice where I experienced something profound, I could only imagine the spiritual levels archived by these monks after years of continuous practice, actually living this practice each and every day. 

For laypeople, it seems our modernized world and all it conveniences and distractions have evolved at a rate we haven't spiritually kept up with. If anything, the way of our modern society is to numb our spiritual antennas in order to better focus us on consuming and using our critical thinking skills for less enlightening purposes like creating our next very "clever" status update. This world distracts our awareness from the true exploration of ourselves, and our interconnectivity with all things in this universe. These monks really live life in constant exploration, and devote their life to this - if only we had the time for more inward focus...

For much of my own life, I've been disillusioned from the real me, and fixated on the masking the misunderstanding of who I really am in order to fit in with the paradigm of modern practicality. For a long time I've avoided the concept of getting to know myself, maybe in fear of what I'd find. I've numbed my mind and my spiritual intuition for far too long. 

These thoughts did exist while living in Seattle, but are now are taking on more shape and meaning as to what they truly mean in this reality.

My time at the wat felt like a trip back in time into another world. I felt isolated from the world being couped up in the forest with Buddhist monks, and away from my otherwise very distracted life. Although only four days, It felt like a month - which I think feeds into my previous point, at least for myself.

I guess finding the balance in realizing my true spiritual self and my involvement in the rest of the world is key. Maybe this awareness is easier for most people, I'm not really sure. But for me, it hasn't always been so obvious or easy to understand.

I never really knew what I wanted in life. I always questioned decisions about my past and future - it's been very confusing for a long time. Meditation is allowing me to trust my own intuition, and with full confidence that things will happen the way they're suppose to. These thoughts bring me so much peace and happiness, and allow me to live with a truer sense of freedom. This new found wisdom into meditation and myself will certainty suffice for now, but maintaining it is the hard part. With more commitment to doing the "me" work, it will hopefully lead to a more beautiful way of living my life.

Give meditation a try, it can really change your life!