My Drug Addict Cousin

My relationship with the United States could be compared to that of one with a drug addict cousin. You love him unconditionally.  You enjoy the seasonal family gatherings when you get to visit with him. But more often than not, you want to keep a healthy distance. 

I'm sorry, that's just how I feel, and I have my reasons.

Traveling has made me embarrassed, but also appreciative of the uniqueness that is the United States and our "culture."  Although I'm excited to leave again, it still doesn't remove the anticipated discomfort that will surely linger after leaving some of my favorite things that are truly American comforts.  


1.  American Sports

Andrew Luck Running for a Touchdown.  Go Colts!

Sports permeates American culture in major ways.  Parents use sports as a way to keep kids occupied and out of trouble.  It was an early identity as a young male playing sports, and you begin to love these games.  Even learning important life lessons through them.

I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan.  I grew up watching football with my dad in the living room most Sundays. Through high school and college, my friends and I got to enjoy the greatness that is Peyton Manning while he was a Colt.  

These were quality times spent with family and friends.  Moments I'll never forget. Interestingly, those sports moments are talked about more frequently than other topics when friends get together.  I'll miss the camaraderie with friends, and the relationship I have with the teams.

Muay Thai will have to do for now!

   
2.  American Live Music & Festivals

The Gorge Amphitheater, George, WA

Throughout my 20s, I've been to over 300 live shows and festivals...some I remember, and some only because I saved the ticket stub.  

I went to Bonnaroo back in '06, and this was an eye opening experience.  It was like a huge music village where anything goes!  Crazy music and drug-infused dance parties that lasted all night.  Dancing under the stars with 30k others, listening to your favorite jams; it was an epic experience!  I became addicted, and traveled all over the country and Mexico the next 8 years catching every live show I could.  Like sports, these were some of my favorite memories with very close friends.  We experienced some pretty amazing, mind altering trips that were no short of life changing...and what a long strange trip its been.  

Music is important to me, and is for most people I'd think.  Music is personal, and its emotional.  The access I had to good music in Seattle was prime!  I'll miss the ease at which I can enjoy live music with all my friends.

3.  Beef, Dairy and Bread

Although eating beef in American isn't always the healthiest of options, I still cant resist it's lure.  As an American, and me personally, there is nothing better or more orgasmic than a plump, juicy cheeseburger (topped with bacon of course), or a nice filet topped with blue cheese!  Mmmmm, divine!

Whelp, so long to good beef and dairy, because outside of dining in nice resorts each time my American pallet begins to surface, I'll be without this American "delicacy" for the foreseeable future.  Eating the beef off the street here seems sketchy, and I tried a burger once, it's just not the same.  Cheese is so expensive, and processed, and good beef is just seemingly not around.  I don't think the cow is sacred in Thailand...

Result:  diet should improve

4.  Toilet Paper

Traditional Thai toilet 

People wanted to know the weirdest cultural difference about Thailand.  This is usually followed by a quick response from me, which is always the same, "the fucking toilets!"

Most traditional Thai bathrooms are like the pic above.  Thankfully you can buy toilet paper!  But public bathrooms essentially use a hose to "spray" your ass off (not a bad aye).  Then, because there isn't normal plumbing systems, you scoop water from a "clean" bowl to wash the other toilet bowl you just used. 

Sometimes you have to stand to poop. Its really awful, actually.  


5.  Reliable Customer Service

They call it "The Thai Way," where everything is done with little to no sense of urgency.  As westerners, we've grown accustomed to reliable customer service to resolve a problem right away if something is wrong or needs fixed.  When you enter SE Asia this is left at the airport, or limited to the 5-star resorts you pay an arm and leg for.  Thai people are very helpful and friendly, but don't expect great turn around times if you have a modest issue to resolve.  Don't be surprised if you are finished with you meal and your server doesn't show back up to deliver the timely bill.  Only later to find he is eating behind the bar playing on his phone without a care in the world.  No tips here, so why would he care as a server I suppose.  Its just something you accept and find patience for.  Its a good life practice, right?

6.  Consistent Hot Water

This speaks for itself.  Although, living in the tropics, a cold water shower might actually be satisfying.  Maybe I 'll just have to pay for a nicer room for these conveniences, but even still, some of the nicer spots still can still lack consistent hot water. 

7.  People Who Know Me

Of course I will miss friends and family, dearly.  A big part of that is being around people who know me and my past.  Many people I meet will be in passing, so having old friends to reminisce with will be few and far between.  I already miss my peeps!

8.  American English

Americans may not sound as cool as the Brits, this is true.  But Ill miss not having to think very hard to try and understand people speaking English as a second language or the idioms other English speakers say that I'm unfamiliar with (British and Australian English).  It will be cool to learn Thai as well, but I will certainly miss a good casual conversation with Americans about sports or politics.  I'm sure I'll know a few here, but likely will speak to more Europeans and Aussies than Americans.  Time to learn Thai, quickly!

9.  Convenience and Familiarity

It's easy when you know everything about a culture.  It's incumbent on the single traveler or new resident of a nation to be patient with new traditions and customs, and try to adjust expectations.  It will be different.  Its imperative to adapt if you truly want to immerse yourself into another culture, and learning the language and understanding the nuances will be my first step in making the adjustment. 

10.  Legal Weed   
 

WA and CO are at the forefront of monumental social progress in American society with legalizing recreational weed.  I was one able to vote it in here in WA, the first of two states to fully legalize it!  Really, the only places in the world to do so!  That's pretty bad-ass, even for America!  It was a contentious bill, so I felt like my vote mattered, which is always something I didn't always believe.

Now, downtown Seattle smells of freshly sparked dubbies each morning  on my walk to work...freedom!