Meditation Retreat At Wat Umong

Wat Umong is one of my favorite temples in Chiang Mai. It's a 700 year old Buddhist temple nestled in the woods against the mountains of Doi Suthep. The entire campus consists of 15 acres of beautiful secluded forest. The wat is famous for its ancient underground tunnels, displaying a variety of Buddhist shrines, where in some parts you have to duck down below the low hanging ceilings to see. 

These tunnels were supposedly built by an ancient Lana King, and painted with bush scenes so they could keep a famous but mentally deranged monk within the grounds of the monastery, as he had a habit of wandering off into the woods for days on end. 

You can feed the ducks, turtles, and the eerily large catfish in a nearby pond. The whole setting is very tranquil and pleasant to walk through. Many other meditation centers in town are flooded with tourists, and don't occupy anything comparable to the spacious grounds Wat Umong sits on.

I decided this would be where I'd experience my first meditation retreat.

Upon arrival, I met with the head monk and discussed the logistics of my four day stay. The accommodations included a modest room with a mat and pillow, plain white clothing, and two square meals a day - you aren't allowed to eat past lunch, which was initially very unsettling!

I was also given a schedule:. 

5am -  Wake up
6-7am -  Mediation Practice
7-7:20am -  Sweep the temple grounds
7:30-8am -  Breakfast
9-11am -  Mediation Instruction/Practice
11-12pm -  Lunch Time
12-2pm -  Break Time
2-3:30pm -  Meditation Practice
4-5pm -  Cleaning
5-7pm -  Break Time
7-8pm -  Meditation Instruction/Practice
9:30pm -  Bedtime

The temple is littered with roosters, hens, and temple dogs - usually strays abandoned by locals for the temple to take care of. Each morning, a very large gong in the middle of the main temple area would sound promptly at 4am! The echoes permeated throughout the entire temple grounds, and would wake me up a solid hour before I needed to be. The dogs also seemed to despise this part of the day, as they would all howl loudly alongside the resonance of the gong, providing a natural alarm clock.  

The roosters begin their morning calls around 3:45-4am as well. Around 4:30am the senior monks gather and begin their morning chanting, which can also easily be heard. 

The fact that they set the meditation schedule an hour later than all this early morning commotion was simply torture, at least it was that first day. I tried desperately to fall back asleep to gain that much desired extra hour, but to no avail. That first night, standing in my room peering out the window into the darkness trying to see where all the noises were coming from, my alarm suddenly sounds at 5am, and I frustratedly and very emphatically shut it off. After that night, I decided to not even set it again, as it really didn't serve any purpose. 

In conjunction with the all the noise, the sleeping situation was rough, which is of course intentional. 

Each night I think I averaged 3-4 hours of sleep. 

Fully awake now, I headed to the meditation hall to begin the first instruction/practice of the day. Here I met our English speaking meditation teacher, Hans. 

Hans is Thai (but obviously his real name isn't Hans, he just has an affinity for Germans - so it was self imposed), but speaks decent English and has a good sense of humor - he's also an avid Backstreet Boys fan. There were about 10 other students in the class from all over the world. It was an incredibly diverse group too, with people from Argentina, Chile, England, Malaysia, Philippines, Japan, America (me), and Thailand. Conversation was limited, but we all still chatted a bit.

The beginning lessons focused on mindfulness. Mindfulness is to help develop the level of concentration needed for deeper levels of meditation. He taught us how to do basic walking meditation, and how to simply focus the mind on the sensations on the bottoms of your feet while slowly walking around the room.

I couldn't help thinking if an outsider was looking in this room right now how we would all look like patients in an insane asylum. Grown adults aimlessly walking around with our eyes closed, all dressed in standard issued white uniform.  

I occasionally looked up and smiled at the atmosphere.

He instructed us to recognize thoughts that arise while walking, and to mindfully realease them and redirect the attention back to the feet. In theory, this mental process is the simple practice of mindfulness. The sitting practice was much of the same. The walking practice is to subtlety begin calming the mind, in order to enter the sitting meditation with a calmer state than if you hadn't. The concept to objectively and compassionately observe arising thoughts, good or bad, and letting them go, then redirecting your focus to the main object of focus (your breath) was the basic lesson. The breath is always present and available, so mindfulness teachings begin people with this reliable focal point. 

Sounds pretty simple, right?  

The idea is to build and train the mind to be able to do this conscious process enough to the point where your mind limits incessant thinking (the monkey mind), and allowing your calmed mind to enter a higher level of concentration - eventually tapping into higher states of consciousness and insight.

There are no gods in Buddhism. Buddha himself was just a man who reached higher enlightenment and shared his way of doing so. Apparently he demanded not to be worshiped as some deity at all - I wonder what he would think of all this today, since he is one of the most recognized and worshiped images in present day. Buddhism to me doesn't seem much of a religion at all, but an instruction manual to help you reach your own higher understanding of reality. A path only realized through the practice of Vipassana meditation, and not through worshiping of any God figure. The ideas presented in Buddhism are for the individual to practice and to realize their own path of spiritual awakening. These facts alone have made Buddhism appealing and more beautiful to me than other religions predicated on fear and imposition. Not that Bhuddism isn't dogmatic in its own right today, but the basic essence of it seems pretty simple and not fear based.

Bhudda found a way to find his true self, and his connection to the universe and all things. He just simply shared his insight and how to attain enlightenment with others.

Hans said while sitting or walking to focus the undivided attention on either the nose where the breath enters and exits, or the stomach which rises and falls accordingly. I wouldn't technically call myself a beginner, and had practiced this method for over a year before moving to Thailand. During that time I had practiced rotating between the two, visualizing the entire course of the breath from nose to stomach. 

I personally use a simple visualization method I call the "Wave" that I came to while meditating on a beach in Costa Rica. With my eyes closed I would synchronize my breathing with the flow of the waves coming in and out of the shore. Breathing in as the water recedes back into the sea, and breathing out as the wave crashes onto the shoreline. I use this often, and always visualize that particular spot on that beach in Montezuma, Costa Rica. The monk said to breath normally, and to actually not try and regulate the breath, or sync it with anything like a wave - however this has proven effective for me. I doubt Buddha would've argued with anything that worked for that individual.

I usually meditate alone somewhere in nature, so sitting in a room with a monk and 10 others was hard on my concentration. Although after a few sessions I was able to become more deeply focused.

The first day was certainly the hardest. The sleep deprivation and mild starvation (a mild exaggeration) made for a very long tiring day.

The following day was a little easier since I could better focus. I also opted to start using a chair rather than the prototypical lotus pose. This helped my concentration since I was stiff and uncomfortable from another sleepless night filled with gong banging, monk chanting, dog howling and rooster crowing!

There was another guy, Martin, who'd been there a few days prior, and suggested a group of us venture back deep into the woods and meditate by this little river. The property he brought us to was not actually Wat Umong, but the ruins of an older temple destroyed by Burmese soldiers centuries before. I had been to Wat Umong many times, but never knew this was here! 

It was really fascinating to see the brick outlines of these old ruins, and the energy back there was surreal - the hair on your arms stood straight up! We forged through the old temple grounds and eventually found the river flowing through a ravine. We sat there for about 20min before the mosquitoes worsened, so we had to leave. I made a strong mental note on how to find it in the future.

Later that evening for our last meditation instruction, I had an extremely beneficial Q & A with Hans. I was literally the only person to ask questions, so I took advantage - later finding out from others I asked questions that were pertinent to them as well. His matter of fact way of explaining the simplicity of things was helpful, although condescending at times, but constructive nonetheless. We then all sat together under the huge Buddha shrine, lit only by a single candle, creating an eerie vibe as the light flickered off the shadows of the Buddha and Hans' face. We did some light monk chanting, in Thai which none of us understood, and then retired to our rooms.

That night was another difficult night - I just couldn't seem to sleep well there, even when I was thoroughly exhausted!

Gonggggggggggggggg.......Its 4am already??

The previous night I had asked Hans if I could join him during his alms collection in the morning. I didn't really get a confirmation on this, so I completely forgot in the midst of my sleep deprived mind that morning. About 15min into our meditation, I heard some footsteps approaching the hall. I quickly remembered my request, and hoped it was Hans coming to retrieve me. Then suddenly I felt a soft tapping on my head. I opened my eyes and Hans was standing over me, gesturing towards the exit. "I knew it was you!", I thought. So we both silently headed out the back, unbeknownst to the others, and I got to join him for his morning alms collection. 

This was a trip! 

Each day as I drive to work I see the monks walking barefoot along the roads with their alms baskets accepting food, and laypeople on their knees receiving their blessings from them. 

Hans told me to stay behind him and never walk alongside or in front of him for customary reasons. A few people stopped and had something to offer, so I curiously watched as they received their blessing from him - this was definitely a first, and something pretty interesting for a westerner to take part in.

After the morning alms collection, I connected with Martin, and a French guy Bastion. We were invited to Hans' home nearby for some tea and to chat about monk life - we actually ended up doing some light cleaning after our chat, which might had been the intention all along.

Its funny how subservient I felt to this monk, considering I'm not a Buddhist. But there is some kind of energy and level of respect I felt for him that made me happy to oblige. Normally I wouldn't clean another mans dishes, but we did willingly and without reservation. So maybe I was just playing my role as a student in this place, but I was happy to do so. He did share his coffee and food with us. I think Hans really took to us, and me in particular, mainly because he knew I taught English and he wanted to practice his skills. He is a really nice guy.

That day, Martin took off to continue his holiday in Thailand. A few new people arrived and so I felt compelled to show them the cool ruins Martin had showed us the previous day - plus this gave us something to do during our break. We all went and meditated for about an hour by the river, this time the mosquitoes were a little less relentless.

I remembered my camera too, and decided to take a group shot!

That evening I experienced the most intense meditation since I arrived, and maybe since I'd been in Thailand - and I've been meditating at least every other day up to this point.

We sat in the dark under the same candle light that reflected off the Buddha's face so ominously the night before. I used a chair again this time, and went off deep into myself, and literally meditated longer than the session was intended. I awoke to find I was alone and the candle was out. I was so deep in meditation I didn't even realize everyone had gotten up around me and had left!  I was so amazed, but possibly more so at the level of depth I was able to achieve this time.   

I wont go in to the details, but I'll just say I came out of it with tears down my face - it was emotionally intense! 

I walked very slowly back to my room, reflecting on what I had just experienced.

I felt I had reached a milestone in my practice, and found it hard to even write about. I wanted to express the depth of the experience, but found myself writing the same stuff I generally do after long meditations.  It was hard to convey this experience in words. 

It's kind of like learning something new in school. You memorize some new material, apply the knowledge for the test, but sometimes never really thinking in-depth about what the subject actually means - you just want to pass the test. You can regurgitate verbatim what you read, but maybe not realizing your lack of understanding of the deeper concepts. Then maybe years later, you're reintroduced to that same material, seeing the info in a much different perspective and gaining a new appreciation for it. 

I can talk to people about meditation and how to do it. I have read a lot and practiced a lot. However, after this session, the material I was writing, which mirrored what I had previously written, began to take on a different meaning, but with much deeper clarity.  

Not that there is much right or wrong to meditation in my opinion, but I found a new understanding as to what I was actually doing - it was my "ah ha" moment with this whole thing.

That night, I hoped for a better nights rest, but only to find a lovely colony of ants meandering along the edge of my bed. I didn't want to turn the lights out in fear of becoming a superhighway for these busy little insects. But my mind was less concerned as I was feeling a nice high in that moment. So I sat and watched them for a bit until I felt they wouldn't deviate from their already established path just north of my pillow.

I certainly fell asleep a little easier that night...but 4am always comes so quickly.

Apart form the ants and the standard loud noises, I was able to manage some sleep - maybe 4 hours. 

It was pouring the next morning, and I hoped Hans wouldn't come ask me to do another alms walk with him. Although during meditation he did tap my head again, and I followed him to the back door same as before. Only this time he told me to hold out my hand, and he gave me some meditation beads as a gift. He said he would be leaving and wanted to say goodbye since he knew I was also leaving shortly as well. By this point he knew I lived in town, so we exchanged numbers and agreed to grab lunch sometime. I gave him the traditional monk wai (hands together bow) and promised to give him a ring soon. He even requested I join him and a few others to go on a trip down south to another mountain temple just north of Bangkok in a town called Sokhothai. He may become an abbot (head monk) there, and wanted to show this place off. 

I happily accepted the offer.

I can't say enough about my experience at Wat Umong. I mean, there have been many "firsts" since arriving in SE Asia, but formally meditating and lightly adopting Buddhist practices for a few days was an amazing and enlightening experience.

I will say though the way of the monk, and traditional Buddhists for that matter, isn't really the life for me. There certainly exists some parity among practitioners, as there is in all religions, but the essence of the meditation concepts are quite nice and beneficial to all. I gained a new appreciation for this belief system. 

Some of the monks can be pretty hardcore too!

Hans told me about a few head monks at the temple who periodically venture off into the mountains for weeks with no food or sleep, meditating for days on end! That's Insane - like how is that even physically possible? 

These guys truly live this practice with extreme intensity and devotion that is astounding to me.

I was really exposed to a way of life so far different from my own. I greatly respect level of commitment necessary to live like this. Having only had a few moments in my practice where I experienced something profound, I could only imagine the spiritual levels archived by these monks after years of continuous practice, actually living this practice each and every day. 

For laypeople, it seems our modernized world and all it conveniences and distractions have evolved at a rate we haven't spiritually kept up with. If anything, the way of our modern society is to numb our spiritual antennas in order to better focus us on consuming and using our critical thinking skills for less enlightening purposes like creating our next very "clever" status update. This world distracts our awareness from the true exploration of ourselves, and our interconnectivity with all things in this universe. These monks really live life in constant exploration, and devote their life to this - if only we had the time for more inward focus...

For much of my own life, I've been disillusioned from the real me, and fixated on the masking the misunderstanding of who I really am in order to fit in with the paradigm of modern practicality. For a long time I've avoided the concept of getting to know myself, maybe in fear of what I'd find. I've numbed my mind and my spiritual intuition for far too long. 

These thoughts did exist while living in Seattle, but are now are taking on more shape and meaning as to what they truly mean in this reality.

My time at the wat felt like a trip back in time into another world. I felt isolated from the world being couped up in the forest with Buddhist monks, and away from my otherwise very distracted life. Although only four days, It felt like a month - which I think feeds into my previous point, at least for myself.

I guess finding the balance in realizing my true spiritual self and my involvement in the rest of the world is key. Maybe this awareness is easier for most people, I'm not really sure. But for me, it hasn't always been so obvious or easy to understand.

I never really knew what I wanted in life. I always questioned decisions about my past and future - it's been very confusing for a long time. Meditation is allowing me to trust my own intuition, and with full confidence that things will happen the way they're suppose to. These thoughts bring me so much peace and happiness, and allow me to live with a truer sense of freedom. This new found wisdom into meditation and myself will certainty suffice for now, but maintaining it is the hard part. With more commitment to doing the "me" work, it will hopefully lead to a more beautiful way of living my life.

Give meditation a try, it can really change your life!

Hilarious Things My Students Say

We've all heard the saying that kids say the darnedest things, right? Years ago, Bill Cosby even had a show popularizing the phrase, with the premise of inviting kids on stage to hear the ridiculous things they say. It was hilarious! Jimmy Kimmel also has frequent skits centered around kids and what comes out of their mouths. Often interviewing them to find out things like, "Do you know any naughty words?" or "Who is smarter, your mom or your dad?" He also does a fake lie detector test on random kids that is a must see! 

Since I began teaching I've heard some outrageous things uttered by my students, and began writing them down.

I think the best part of it all is that they have no clue how funny they really are!  Sometimes they become really confused when I bust out laughing while they're genuinely expressing a thought. Sometimes they even laugh along with me, not really knowing why. 

The last five years living in Seattle as a single male, I didn't really interact with any kids throughout my day to day life. I lived and worked in downtown Seattle, none of my friends were parents - except maybe a few, but I never really interacted with their children. Come to think of it, I've never really spent any time with kids in my adult life! I'm now realizing what a travesty this has been for me personally. But I mean, when was I going to really?  It's not like I'm going to run to the nearest park and start playing on the swings with someone else's child - creepy!  I think at this point I've realized the importance of children in adult lives, and how my own association with them recently has augmented my own emotional and spiritual development - especially since these aspects of my life have taken priority after moving to Thailand. 

For me, kids are such a healthy outlet to detach from the overwhelming preoccupation that is my adult ways of thinking. In the past, work and money seemed to take center stage, worrying about the future and dwelling in the past. It's like I'd feel irresponsible or even worse, unproductive, if I took a step back to calm my mind and just simply live in the moment. Kids help teach me to be calm and lighthearted in parts of my day. They know how to live mindfully, in the now, being fully engrossed in whatever they're doing with full imagination and sincere enthusiasm - it's really inspiring to be around. 

They teach us to observe in awe the world around us, and to relish in our own creativity. They have taught me to slow down and listen better, and to not just hear someone speak, but really listen and register the thought behind the words.  Because sometimes when they speak, I'm just so fascinated where they came up with the thought!

I came to Thailand with little idea as to why, but felt a strong pull to leave and try something different. So now I'm here, and quickly learning this has become a spiritual journey, and learning how to manifest my own new reality. Meditation and learning to live mindfully is now a much larger part of this path. Teaching children is turely enhancing this learning process.

Kids are pure, untainted by the deeper complexities of life, and seem to view the world through an unfiltered lens. Kids are always excited about new thoughts and ideas. They're playful at all times, and just want to simply enjoy themselves, in the present moment, right now. 

This is mindfulness!

We as adults can really learn from the endearing simplicity of children.

Kids are kind of like cats. Cats seem to see things we humans cannot. Cats randomly jump onto bookshelves and dart across rooms in what appears to be some communication or reaction to something we can't see. I think kids see things we don't as well. In their worlds, they have imaginations that don't seem to distinguish between real and fake, and empower an imagination that views everything as possible. I get a lot of joy listening to a child's perspective, and the amazing things they want to share with me. It really has been a learning experience just being around them.

In retrospect, I haven't been around kids for very long, nor do I actually have any myself.  So, many people many disagree or see my opinions differently. I'm not a parent, I know I don't know the "other sides" of kids.  There will always exist a duality in all things, of course. However, this is what I've seen in the limited time I've been around them, and the effect they are having on myself in terms of emotional and spiritual well being. 

The biggest joy is listening to them talk - about anything!  My students want to share EVERYTHING with me ALL the time. "Teacher Brian" is their favorite thing to say, sometimes for seemingly no reason at all, they just constantly demand my attention. I leave work most days with a grin on my face. They can really uplift my mood for the day, but can exhaust me as well. The teaching itself can be a challenge, getting them to listen or pay attention to their work can be a struggle. But when we get into full conversation mode, most times I just sit back and listen to the hilarious things they have to say. 

I like to mess with them too, mostly to provoke funny reactions from them. I tell my kindergarten class that I fly a helicopter to school each day and its sitting on the roof, right now! Everyone seems to loves this, and asks to ride in it. I say, "Of course! I just need gas money, who has some?" The room grows silent with confusion. They also wonder why I drink so much coffee, and I tell them its because I want to breathe underwater. So if I drink enough coffee I will grow gills and turn into a fish!  I like to scuba drive, so I tell them I don't like wearing an air tank, so I want to be a fish instead. They humor me, but they know it's not true - kids are crazy smart! 

It's a blast kickin' it with my students! 

The following are a few of the funny things my students have said to me that had me rolling!  Whether these particular statements taught me anything or not like previously mentioned, they were still worth writing down. 

1. Me: Wow, this picture you drew is amazing, how did you do it? Student: I used my brain, of course!

2. Student: Teach Brian, why is your face dirty every day?  Me: What do you mean, I showered? (Student begins pulling at my facial hair - oh, that's what you mean.)

3. Student: Teacher Brian, my stomach really hurts!  Me: I'm sorry, why is that? Student: Because you keep opening your mouth.  

4. Student: Teacher Brian, guess what?  Me: What? Student: My mom let me drive to school today!

5. Me: Let's begin with some math today, how about some addition? Student: No, adding is for kids, subtraction is for the big boys!

6. Me: What did you eat for breakfast?  Student: A lot of sugar!  Me: Great.

7. Me: Do you have any pets? Student: George (another student) came over to my house yesterday to play. Me: Is he your pet?  Student: Sometimes. 

8. Student: Happy bay, Teacher Brian.  Me: Thank you. Student: Now you look like an older gorilla! (Pointing to my arm hair)

9. Student: I need extra underwear for my pillow. Me: Underwear?? Oh, you mean a pillow case?  

10. Student: Teacher Brian, I know what the "F" word means!  Me: Whats that? Student: It means when two old people hug and they don't love each other. 

It's never a dull day in the classroom!

Adventures in Pai

One random weekend I decided to go explore a quiet little town in northern Thailand called Pai. I was told this was the quintessential hippie/backpacker hangout, but has since become more popular with tourists. I guess it still holds much of that same "charm", but now Pai prominently exists on the backpacker trail, and receives it's share of traffic.  Pai is tucked away in the mountains around Mae Hong Song (very northwest Thailand), just near the Burmese border. This beautiful village offers a great place to relax for a few days, and leisurely explore the stunning northern countryside.

So that's what I set out to do!

I decided to forgo the 600 baht bus ride up north for two reasons.  One: there are literally 700 switchbacks up the mountain to get there, and I get car sick pretty easily.  Two: I have a motorbike and knew this would be an incredibly scenic drive, and would definitely want to stop off and take pictures whenever I pleased.  It took me about three and half hours to reach this place that was maybe 80 mi outside of Chiang Mai.  

When I arrived, I took a friend's suggestion and hit up the Darling Viewpoint Bungalows, which is perched up on a hill with awesome views of the entire village, and a great mountain backdrop!  It was perfect, and a true Thai-style layout, which I love!  The owner/operator was named...yup, you guessed it, Darling!  She was this cute little lady living alone in this huge guesthouse. She was really sweet getting me arranged with everything, and made me feel right at home.  She always said things like, "Super happy you're here!", "The food is super good!", "I'm super happy today!", etc.  She was funny, and always had a smile on her face.  A total hippie herself, which I presumed was probably indicative of the overall vibe in Pai I'd heard so much about.  It was low season and there were only a few other guests, so I got to chat with her quite a bit.  

That night I was exhausted from my drive up in the boiling sun.  I grabbed a large beer, sat in one of the back deck hammocks and watched the entire sunset!  

Later that evening two guys, one Hollander and the other German, showed up and were staying in the same dorm.  They were traveling together, and eventually heading to Laos after their stay in Pai.  We chatted awhile, then they decided to hit up the local nightlife.  However, I decided to retire early, but made plans to meet them up the next morning.

I was up surprisingly early the next day, well before anyone else, and ventured into the village for some breakfast.  After some pretty standard yogurt with muesli, I decided to cross the bamboo bridge to see the river.  It was very quiet then, so I decided to take advantage of the silence and meditated by the river for about 30 min.  Afterwards, I felt really calm and energized for the day-meditation is always the best way to start the morning!  

I slowly meandered my way back through the village and watched some locals building some traditional Thai-style huts.  It's amazing watching them build these little bungalow huts with very limited supplies, probably using craftsmanship dating back centuries. They enjoyed the curious onlooker admiring their work.  I gestured with a friendly smile and continued on.

I met back up with my two new friends, and we decided to take out motorbikes around and explore the local attractions.  The first stop, a waterfall about a mile away.  What's great about Pai is all the stuff to see here is within a few mile radius, so you can cover a lot of ground in a short time. This was clearly a popular local sight, as there were a few groups of people already there enjoying the swim under the 40 foot waterfall.  There was an area you could climb up the rock and jump off, but only a few decided it was safe enough.  I threw caution to the wind and jumped first!  It was deep enough, so no worries at all. 

We chatted with some others enjoying this secluded pool area surrounded by steep overhanging walls of rock. 

It was an impressive little spot.

Next, we went further down the road to a huge ravine that promised some really cool views of the surrounding area.  The trails around the ravine were unique to say the least.  The narrow walking paths were all elevated high above the deep ravine crevasses.  It was stunning, and I've never seen anything like it. 

Some people didn't like the heights an stayed back, as the rest of us walked cautiously along the natural paths.  We quickly took notice of the looming dark clouds approaching.  So we decided to head out before we got dumped on.  

This time of year is the beginning of the rainy season, and when it rains here, it's torrential!  

Sure enough, halfway back to the village we got dumped on!  This really sucks when riding a motorbike because you have to obviously slow way down, but you're also trying to find a good balance between speed and safe driving to quickly escape the rain before you're soaked.  

Let's just say we didn't find that balance, but did make it back safely!  

We headed to a reggae bar called "No Cry", and chilled out while enjoying some much needed brews in our soaked clothes. Later that night, we would return to this same bar, which absolutely comes alive at night. Both locals and tourists hit up this late night spot, mainly because it's open later than other bars, and has an attached second bar with local live music all night.  Each evening, in the middle of the outdoor bar they ignite a massive bonfire where people sit around and play guitars and smoke weed.  

It all felt suitable for this lazy town full of hippies, and I had a feeling this is what happens here each and every night.    

Around 3am we decided to walk back to the guesthouse.  On our very intoxicated walk back through the dark, we were suddenly scared shit-less when some young guy out of nowhere, in the middle of nowhere, pops out of the bushes and tries to join the conversation like he had been with us the whole time, not realizing he just scared us to death! It was so so random! He was clearly drunk, lost, an couldn't even remember where he was staying.  We all laughed historically at this guy...like, what was he doing in the woods way out there before we came by? What if no one ever came by?  It made for a great laugh!

This guys was so completely faded! (I wish I had pictures of this moment!)

It was even funnier the next morning when we all gathered for breakfast and again, out of nowhere, this guys shows up at the same restaurant by himself, and he didn't even recognize or acknowledge us sitting right next to him!  We politely reminded him who we were, and all offered him some much needed water.  He had no clue who we were.  

Wow!

Unfortunately, I left quickly the next day.  I was invited to continue on to Laos with everyone, but I had to work the next day.  Darling checked me out, and gave me a customary bracelet that she makes for each guest who stays there.  It was again, another sweet touch Darling provides at her guesthouse-I highly recommend this place in Pai...and if you do, please grab my shoes while you're there, please!  

We parted ways and I headed down the mountain pass on my trusty steed!

About an hour into my ride, I got a flat tire.  Interestingly though, before I left for this trip I had a feeling this bike might encounter some problems traveling this far.  I definitely took my chances going against my gut.  Now, I'm in the middle of nowhere halfway up a mountain with no towns around for at least 30 miles.  So now, I'd have to hitchhike for the second time ever in my life back home to Chiang Mai-both times happened in the last four months here in Thailand!      

In these moments of near panic I revert to my meditation practice, concentrating on returning myself to a calmer and more positive state.  There isn't anything I could change about the situation, so I had a choice, either get pissed at myself, or, choose a more constructive emotion that would actually help me out here. So, I remained calm, took a moment to close my eyes and forcibly laugh at myself.  "I knew this was going to happen!"  Then I quickly found peace with it, opened my eyes and suddenly felt just fine.  I smiled at myself, held out my thumb and began walking, knowing it would all workout...somehow.

Seriously, within 5 minutes (no exaggeration) a truck passed and stopped for one of the passengers to take a piss. They didn't necessarily stop for me, but they quickly took notice and waved me over. They unfortunately didn't speak English, at all.  I gestured with my hands to explain my situation, which is something I'm getting really good at here, and then they asked me, "Chiang Mai?" I said yes, with the assumption that this was an offer to take me back there, and began incessantly thanking them for their help.  They loaded up my bike, and I hopped on the truck bed and headed down the mountain with some more new friends.  

This was one of those moments I felt that emotional/spiritual interconnection I channel when I meditate. Maintaining a positive outlook in that situation I believed saved me.  Yes, those guys actually saved me, but I do believe positive thinking attracts some positive outcomes in life, and know this happens to me quite often since I've been meditating. So, I relished in that moment in the back of that pickup, and smiled back at the Universe!  

We took a longer way back to Chiang Mai than what I remembered.  Again, they didn't speak English, and so I was at the mercy of their decided route back to the city.  We made a few stops and attempts at communicating, but to no avail.  They had a small girl with them, maybe around 4.  It seemed like I was the first white person she'd ever seen.  Driving down the road I'd catch her in the side mirror starring at me with her big curious eyes, sometimes for like ten minutes. It was funny, but no one likes to be starred at like a circus sideshow act.  

We made it to a town just outside of Chiang Mai called Mae Rim.  We stopped off at a local market and sat there waiting...for something or someone, I wasn't sure.  Now I was getting a bit anxious as to what we were actually doing. After 20 min a 50-something year old man pulls up on a brand new bright red crotch-rocket with a big cheesy smile on his face.  He shook my hand incredibly hard and asked if I was hungry.  "I'm always hungry!"  He laughed and told his friend, the driver of the truck and my savior, to follow him. 

Wait, where are we going now??  

We eventually made it to this guys house, where his wife, sister, cousin, etc. were all preparing for a Thai style BBQ.  The man offers me a drink and begins chatting with me about all things Chiang Mai.  Turns out he is a retired Thai police officer and is hosting a cookout for all his cop friends, who were on their way over right then.  I found this very interesting, and felt how incredibly hospitable, even for a cop!  

There were about 15 people that showed up and everyone was wildly curious about this strange white guy dining with the family.  Some of them spoke some baseline English, so many wanted to speak with me and practice their skills. They were so fascinated with me, and so I became fascinated with their fascination.  They were all really sweet and incredibly nice people, and I felt deeply grateful to them all for helping me and being so kind.  I couldn't thank everyone enough for their hospitality and for saving me up in the mountain.  A few of them wanted to take pictures with me and become my FB friend, so I obliged, although still feeling like a sideshow, it was all very endearing.  

After a few hours we headed back to Chiang Mai.  It started to rain, so I was growing impatient and ready to be home.  I was still sitting in the truck bed, pathetically trying to cover myself with t-shirts from my backpack.  Once we arrived, they unloaded my bike and dropped me off at my apartment.  I thanked them again for the awesome experience.  I earlier noticed the little girl had bracelets on her arm, so decided to give her the bracelet Darling had given me earlier, and felt it was appropriate for the circumstances.  She smiled bashfully, and hugged her dad happily with her new gift from the circus clown she couldn't stop starring at before.  

I can't say enough for Thai hospitality and their huge hearts, they always seem to bail me out of potentially dangerous situations I find myself in sometimes.  This is twice Thai people have gone out of their way to rescue me on the mountain with motorbike issues, and refusing any compensation afterwards.  

I was deeply touched by the whole experience.  

The Intrepid Thai Driver

Thai driving habits are something worthy of mentioning, and a forewarning if you actually plan to visit the country.  

After living in the "Land of Smiles" for the last few months, one thing is blatantly obvious here - driving in this country is absolute insanity! 

No, I haven't been to India. No, I haven't been to Egypt. No, I haven't been to Namibia. No, I haven't been to (fill-in-the-blank with the worst country to drive in).

Many people claim there are far worse places for your daily commute.  But after some internet perusing, I quickly discovered the statistical truth behind the ominous driving habits of Thais.

Thailand is now considered the second most dangerous place to drive in the world!  

...and from what I've personally seen and heard so far, I believe it! 

Just the other month, another bus in Northern Thailand careened off the edge of a cliff, plummeting hundreds of feet down a ravine where 30 people died. Incidents like this have become commonplace, and raise for serious concern when commuting around the country.  When something like this happens there isn't much recourse either - I guess there isn't anywhere, really.  But here, it almost seems like officials do nothing to really address these issues, at least outside the obligatory public safety announcement following a tragedy in attempt to appease tourists who fear for their lives on every departing bus or train.

So like most things in Thailand, you need to look out for yourself and make the safest decision with the information provided.

My advice: avoid the overnight buses across long distances, especially the north where you pass through mountainous terrain at high elevations.  Most of the drivers are extremely overworked and potentially strung out on amphetamines.  

You would think trains are the safest and most obvious option, however many of them are outdated and running on fragile rail systems in desperate need of repair. 

Trains here just aren't that safe either.  

First thing to note while driving on the roads here, "red" doesn't necessarily mean stop.  Its more of an indication that you should yield and look around, and if no one is approaching, just go for it.  This cavalier attitude will get your ass hit quicker than you can remember the Thai name of the street you're on (most street names are like 15 letters long). But I've basically learned all colors mean yield (particularly GREEN), and to use your own judgement to gauge when it's actually safe to cross a street, rather than the traffic lights.  This logic is uncomfortable for most Westerners, especially for someone like myself who hasn't routinely driven a car in almost four years. 

The other day, I was driving along the south moat near Chiang Mai Gate, and witnessed this brave act of commuting with what I assumed was the beloved family dog, "standing" on the back of this motorbike with his two front paws on a single supporting bar, just cruising down the street. 

 
The driving here is just rediculous.

More often than not, I see a single person driving a brand new four door Toyota truck with no one else in the vehicle. While a family of four is carelessly packed together on a single motorbike (sometimes one being an infant child held in the driver's lap - with no helmets!), following dangerously behind.  I can't help but think that this poor family could dramatically increase their life expectancy by opting for the "safer" four door pickup...but that just isn't as fun.   

Motorbikes are a way of life here, and now, for me as well.

Motorbikes are efficient and actually really fun to drive - aside from the elevated risk of death, it's awesome! 

At every intersection when traffic is backed up, all motorbike drivers weave in and out of the idle cars to make their way to the front of the line.  On a motorbike, you rarely have to sit in traffic!  Almost everyone commutes by motorbike, unless you're an affluent teenager who's mom just bought you a brand new truck for your 16th birthday...lord help us all! But seriously, many Thais here have money and have nice rides (especially Toyota trucks), but for the majority of those living here, motorbikes are the preferred and most efficient means of travel.

So whether you're driving your child to soccer practice (well, football here), to the market, or to make an urgent trip to the hospital, Thais generally accomplish their transit needs via motorbike.  

So when visiting Thailand, be extremely cautious and aware of the elevated risks while commuting around the country, no matter what mode of transportation you choose.

Oh, and yes mother, I wear my helmet!